Sunday, August 20, 2017

No Expectations – No Disappointments

NO EXPECTATIONS – NO DISAPPOINTMENTS
Philosophical Ruminations of a Veteran
By
VIKRAM KARVE

Are you a result oriented person...?

Yes...?

Are you obsessed with the “return” you get on your “investments”...?

Yes...?

Then why don’t you try to adopt a philosophical approach to life. 

Here is a saying from Lao-tzu from Tao Te Ching:

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.

Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.

Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench.

Care about other people's approval and you will be their prisoner.

Do your work, then step back.

The only path to serenity.

~ Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching, ch. 9

Yes  that is the key: 

Do your work  then step back

Or better still  let Chapter 2 Verse 47 of The Bhagavad Gita be your guide:

karmany evadhikarass te maphalesu kadachana ma karma-phala-hetur bur ma te sango stv akarmani 

(Seek to perform your duty; but do not lay claim to its fruits. You have a right to perform your prescribed action, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your action. Never consider yourself the cause of the results your activities, but neither should you avoid doing your duty) 

So that’s the moral of the story:

Always do your best without expecting results and you will be happy.

To put it in an nutshell:

NO EXPECTATIONS – NO DISAPPOINTMENTS 


RETURN ON INVESTMENT (ROI)

Do you expect a Return on Investment (ROI) on everything...?

In today’s materialistic world  when you Invest your Money – you expect a Return on your Investment (ROI). 

Some persons apply this ROI Theory to other domains of their lives as well. 

For example  they feel that if they invest in a relationship  especially marriage  they must get good returns (ROI). 

As far as any relationship  especially marriage  is concerned  it is best to adopt the following philosophy:

No Expectations  No Disappointments  Happy Marriage 

Apply this philosophy in your career, your work life too.

Do your job to the best of your ability – then step back – and forget about results, rewards etc

Have no expectations  expect no “return”  and you will not be disappointed.


QUID PRO QUO

The first thing to do is to forget about Quid Pro Quo

Just do what you want to do  and step back. 

Do not expect anything in return. 

Just do something for the sake of doing that something.

Do it because you want to do it  you enjoy doing it  and forget about the results.

From personal experience  I have discovered that this is the best philosophy of life.

Nowadays  I write, I blog – but I do not have any expectations from writing and blogging.

I do not expect any “return” – tangible or intangible – for the effort I invest in blogging.

Yes – I do “invest” plenty of my resources  especially my time and my intellect  in writing and blogging  but I do not expect a “return” on my “investment”.

No ROI 

No Quid Pro Quo

I Blog  because I love Blogging.

So I write a Blog  and then  I step back  I forget about the blog I have written – and I go on to writing my next blog.

Like Lao-tzu says in Tao Te Ching: 

Do your work  then step back

Dear Reader – Remember: 

If you have no expectations – then you will have no disappointments

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
This is based on my personal experience. It may or may not work for you, so please do due diligence before you adopt any philosophy of life.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Do Your Needs Influence Your Behaviour...?

Self-Help and Self-Management

UNDERSTANDING YOUR OWN BEHAVIOUR

HOW YOUR NEEDS INFLUENCE YOUR BEHAVIOUR
Musings of a Veteran
By
VIKRAM KARVE


NEEDS DRIVE YOUR BEHAVIOUR

You see a man driving his car very fast  quite recklessly and dangerously.

You wonder why he is doing so  why is he behaving in this reckless way...?

Well  there can be many reasons for his behaviour.

1. Maybe – He is driving fast to experience a sense of thrill 

(to satisfy his need for excitement).

2. Or – He may be driving fast to save time 

(to satisfy his need for urgency)

3. Or maybe – he is driving fast to reach his destination on time 

(to satisfy his need for punctuality)


Thus  the same behaviour or action may have different motives – depending on the need you want to satisfy – at that point of time.

This is one simple example  but all your behaviour is governed by your intrinsic motivation to satisfy your needs.

Motivation is a psychological drive that arouses you to act in a certain way – to achieve your desired goal – which is – the satisfaction of your needs.

Thus  motivation is the psychological driving force that stimulates goal directed behaviour towards your desired goal.

Remember: 

Your desired goal is the “satisfaction of your need” 

For example  hunger is a motivation that elicits a desire to eat and satisfies your need for food  or  at a very basic level  your need for survival.


SIXTEEN (16) BASIC NEEDS THAT INFLUENCE HUMAN BEHAVIOUR

According to Professor Steven Reiss – there are 16 basic desires (16 psychological needs) that guide nearly all human behaviour.

Here is the list of 16 basic needs that influence your behaviour (in alphabetical order):

1. Acceptance  the need for approval

2. Curiosity  the need to learn

3. Eating  the need for food

4. Family  the need to raise children

5. Honour  the need to be loyal – to the traditional values of your country/clan/religion/ethnic group/profession/society

6. Idealism – the need for social justice

7. Independence  the need for individuality

8. Order  the need for organization – for organized, stable, predictable environments

9. Physical Activity  the need for exercise

10. Power  the need for influence of will

11. Romance  the need for sex – and for beauty

12. Saving  the need to collect

13. Social Contact  the need friends (peer relationships)

14. Social Status  the need for social significance (importance in society or at the workplace)

15. Tranquility  the need to be safe, secure and protected

16. Vengeance  the need to strike back  to retaliate  to take revenge – for perceived injustice – against persons/organisations who you feel have caused harm to you. 


PROCESS OF MOTIVATED BEHAVIOUR

Of course  as you will realise  this list is not all encompassing – and there are so many other needs that influence your behaviour.

Some of these “needs” are tangible  and some “needs” are intangible.

Why do you behave in the way you do...?

You behave in a certain way to satisfy your needs.


FOUR STEP BEHAVIOUR PATTERN

The process of human behaviour can be summarized in four steps:

1. A need is aroused within you

2. You behave in a way to satisfy the need

3. The need is satisfied

4. You relax 


SIMPLE EXAMPLE OF NEED MOTIVATED BEHAVIOUR

Let me give you a very simple example. 

1. You feel Hungry (the need to Eat is aroused in you) 

2. You Eat Food (this may entail related behaviour like cooking/ordering/going to restaurant etc)

3. Your Hunger is Satiated (need is satisfied) 

4. You Relax

Well – this is a very simplistic example – but – you have a choice of responses to satisfy your hunger – you can choose either to cook, order or eat out – and you can also choose the type of food to eat. 

You may behave in different ways depending on the situation – and – of course – different people will behave in different ways to satisfy their hunger ( someone may even steal food).  

For other more intricate needs – the behaviour may be more complex too. 


HUMAN BEHAVIOUR IS NEED MOTIVATED”, VALUE DRIVEN and SITUATION SPECIFIC

You have seen how it is your needs – that influence your behaviour

The way in which you behave to satisfy your needs – it depends on your valuesattitude and mindset – at that point of time in your life.

Yes  it is your values and mindset which will influence you to behave in a “certain way” to satisfy your needs in a given situation.

Your behaviour is value-driven and situation-specific.

For example  the need for romance will be satisfied by different persons each in their own unique way – depending on their values and the situation.

Some may satisfy their need for romance by indulging in platonic love – whereas others may resort to physical sex. 

Nowadays – some lonely people find it easy to satisfy their need for romancevia online relationships.

It is best to try and satisfy your needs to the extent feasible – because – from the moment a need is aroused – till it is satisfied – you will be in a state of tension – which will “motivate” your behaviour.

Yes  during the period between “need arousal” and “need satisfaction” you will experience a sense of tension  a condition of unrest or uneasiness  which will propel you to behave in a certain way.

Once the need is satisfied – you will relax.

Needs can be immediate, short term or long term.

When you cannot satisfy a need – you will experience feelings of frustration.


HOW FRUSTRATION AFFECTS YOUR BEHAVIOUR
(ADAPTIVE and MALADAPTIVE RESPONSES)

The degree of your frustration will be related to the magnitude of the unsatisfied need.

Your frustration will affect your behaviour and may cause you to behave in different ways.

You may find a new and acceptable way of reducing or substituting the (unsatisfied) need – in order to make it attainable (adaptive response)

Or  you may continue futile efforts to achieve the unattainable need (maladaptive response)

One of the typical maladaptive responses to frustration is aggression

Another maladaptive response is to go into depression or indulge in negative activities like alcohol/drug abuse.

I have seen many individuals turn to alcohol when their need for success was frustrated.


CONCLUSION

Dear Reader: 

Reflect on your own behaviour in the past few days (or recall some of your own memorable behavioural disasters/fiascos or some curious behaviour you may have witnessed).

Explore the dynamics between your needs and your behaviour.

Is there a connection between your values and mindset – and way you behaved in certain situations...?

Your “needs” influence your behaviour 

Do you agree...?

Please comment and let us know.

Whenever you behave in a certain way  introspect and analyse: 

Which was the need that drove you to behave in that particular way...?

Do you want to change your behaviour...? 

Remember – the key to changing your behaviour is to work on changing your needs.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. These are my personal views. Please use your own due diligence because they may or may not work for you. 
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. All examples and tips are illustrative in nature. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
     
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 

This a revised and updated version of my article first posted on Wednesday, August 21, 2013 by me, Vikram Karve, in my blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve (