Sunday, April 6, 2014

GOOD MOTHER BAD WIFE

GOOD MOTHER BAD WIFE
Modern Marriage Parenting and Relationships
By
VIKRAM KARVE

A friend said in disgust, “I am fed up of my wife,”

“Why?” I asked, “your wife is quite good.”

“Oh, yes, she is quite good,” he answered, “She is a good mother but a bad wife.”

Then, he told me his sob story.

Both his kids had settled abroad, in the USA.

And since they had got married, they kept on calling his wife over there to do “nanny” duty.

When his daughter got pregnant she summoned her mother to America to look after her during her pregnancy days and after her delivery she wanted her mother to stay on till the baby was a year and a half old.

My poor friend was left to fend for himself for nearly two years.

The same thing happened when his daughter-in-law delivered a baby.

Since the daughter-in-law’s mother could not stay for more than six months, his son emotionally blackmailed his mother to come over for “nanny” duties till his baby was old enough for day care since the daughter-in-law wanted to get back to work.

Now the same story was being repeated as his daughter was pregnant for the second time.

Once a man is married for a long time it becomes difficult for him to stay without his wife for long duration.

Yes, it is very painful for a “much married” husband (or wife) to be forced to live the life of a “married bachelor”.

“Why can’t our Indian girls be tough like American women when they go over there to America? Do they ask for their mothers to come and live with them to look after their babies?” he said in anger.

“Our girls are very shrewd. They want the best of both worlds. Indians want to go to America for the money and good life but they want Indian style comforts and lifelong parenting. They are reluctant to adopt the American way of family life. They don’t realize that they are ruining their parents’ married life.

I have seen many such women who are good mothers and bad wives.

Good Mother Bad Wife

or to put it a bit mildly:

most women are good wives but they are better mothers

Now, as I look around me, I find that this is true in most cases, at least among the middle-class families of Pune.

For most married women, the priorities are quite clear: “Children come first, Husbands afterwards

Parenting Priority takes precedence over Conjugal Relationship.

Marital Sacrifice is the order of the day – yes, most mothers are ready to sacrifice their marriages for the sake of their children.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Disclaimer:
All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
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