Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Humor in Uniform - THE “PRIMA DONNA” COMMANDER AND THE CLUELESS COMMODORE

HUMOR IN UNIFORM

THE “PRIMA DONNA” COMMANDER AND THE CLUELESS COMMODORE
An Apocryphal Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE

Disclaimer:
1. Please read this apocryphal story only if you have a sense of humor. This yarn is a spoof, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh. 
2.  This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)


THE “PRIMA DONNA” COMMANDER AND THE CLUELESS COMMODORE
An Apocryphal Story By Vikram Karve

Once upon a time, long long ago, the “W” department of a Naval Dockyard considered itself numero uno and had become a law unto itself, a dockyard within a dockyard, and its Head, the hot-shot prima donna Commander, thought himself to be the ultimate “cats whiskers”.

Professionally, he was good, no doubt about it, very efficient in his job, and he was a linguist too, a truly multilingual officer, proficient in over 10 languages, Indian and Foreign.

Highly intelligent, an impatient man always in a hurry, he was a real eager beaver go-getter, a typical Type “A” personality, who could not suffer fools gladly.

Unfortunately for him, his boss, the General Manager (GM), a senior Commodore, was quite clueless, slow at decision-making, and wanted everything explained to him in detail again and again.

All this irritated the prima donna Commander, so he bypassed his GM, the Commodore, and the hot-shot Commander interacted directly with Headquarters Officers.

One morning, the GM was hugely embarrassed in front of the C-in-C as he seemed clueless about what was going on his own Dockyard whereas the Headquarters Officers were updated and they “educated” the GM in front of everyone about the happenings his own Dockyard.

This was, predictably, thanks to the one-upmanship of the prima donna Commander.

The furious GM called a meeting of all Managers.

As usual, the prima donna Commander did not turn up saying that he was busy.

The Commodore sent his staff officer to personally summon and escort the prima donna Commander to the GM’s Office.

The GM read the riot act to all of us and specifically warned us to follow the proper channel and not bypass the chain of command.

Predictably, the prima donna Commander got into an argument with the Clueless Commodore.

Finally, the Commodore lost his temper and shouted at the Commander: “Where I sit – this is the GM’s chair. You come and sit here and you will know how it feels like sitting here…”

Before the Commodore could finish his sentence, the prima donna Commander quickly got up, moved swiftly, and stood behind the Commodore.

“What are you doing?” asked the bewildered Commodore.

I want to know how it feels like sitting on the GM’s chair,” proclaimed the prima donna Commander loudly, in quick witted repartee, gesturing to the Commodore to rise and vacate the GM’s chair.


EPILOGUE

The prima donna Commander got promoted to Captain in his first shot, but he never occupied the GM’s Chair since he quit the Navy a few years later to seek greener pastures.


The Clueless Commodore literally burnt the midnight oil till his last day of service making everyone miserable till he finally retired as a Commodore having failed to make it to Flag Rank.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
NB:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 
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